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02:01pm 27/04/2003
mood: energetic
It can come from out of nowhere
Hit you when you're safe and warm
Take it easy my star
Your time is gonna come (your time is gonna come)

Yah you've got those crazy blue eyes
Yah you've got those crazy blues
All those pretty smiles
I can see them laughing at you
Your time is gonna come
Your time is gonna come
I dont wanna be your punching bag
Your complacent little princess all tragic and sad
Im not gonna let you overwhelm me anymore
No not anymore

Yah you say you've got this bad thing
Yah u say you've got it bad
You have broken every heart of every friend you've every had
Some day the time will come when all your friends just go away
(go away, go away)
I wonder why i stick around
Sometimes i wish you would leave
You say you'd love me forever then you spit on me
Your time is gonna come
I say your time is gonna come
I dont wanna be your whipping boy
Your pathetic little loser someone you can ignore
Im not gonna let you overwhelm me anymore
(ahh ahh ahh yeah ahh)
Im not gonna let you hurt me anymore
Im not gonna let you hit me anymore
Im not gonna let you kick me anymore
I will not let you overwhelm me anymore
I will not let you overwhelm me anymore
I will not let you overwhelm me anymore
I will not let you overwhelm me anymore
I will not let you overwhelm me anymore
It can come from out of nowhere
(whoa whoa)
I dont wanna be your simple saving grace
Just another little victim with a happy face
Someday, someday, someday soon
Somebody's gonna come
I hope they do this to you
Im not gonna let you overwhelm me
And i will not let you hurt me anymore
I will not let you hurt me anymore
I will not let you hit me anymore
I will not let you twist me anymore
No i will not let you turn me inside now

(hear the saddest songs)

stolen from mary of course...   
12:29pm 25/04/2003
mood: bored
A - Age: 19
B - Best Quality: umm...my ability with kids???
C - Choice Of Meat: chicken
D - Dream Date: chris martin...
E - Ex (most recent): um...glenn? or does adam count?
F - Favorite Food: lunchables.
G - Greatest Accomplishment: becoming a lead teacher
H - Happiest Day of Your Life: i have no idea
I - Internal conflicts: every moment <--- agree
K - Kool-Aid: blue lemonade
L - Love: family & friends
M - Most Valued Thing I Own: my journal
N - Name: shondalaya
O - Outfit You Love: my dad's old hippie shirt and my brown pants
P - Pizza Toppings: mushrooms & black olives
Q - Question you want to ask: why would you do that?
S - Sport To Watch: baseball.
T - Television Show: friends, will and grace, the osbournes, conan
U - Unique habit: i wiggle my toes constantly
W - Won: i've never won anything good ever, unless you count the job as pope during celebrate...
Y - Year Born: 1983
Z - Zodiac Sign: taurus
2. RAN AWAY: once i started to run away when i was little, but i got scared when i got to the end of my driveway, so i came back home...
6. BEEN IN LOVE: i think so, though i'm not positive
9. BROKEN A BONE: my baby toe on my left foot
11. LIED: nope [lying.]
12. CRIED IN SCHOOL: of course
13. COKE OR PEPSI: pepsi
14. SPRITE OR 7UP: sprite
15. GIRLS OR GUYS: guys
16. FLOWERS OR CANDY: flowers
17. SCRUFF OR CLEAN SHAVEN: it depends...
18. QUIET OR LOUD: loud
20. BITCHY OR SLUTTY: neither please
21. TALL OR SHORT: taller than me
22. PANTS OR SHORTS: either, i guess
26. SHOWERED: this morning
27. HAD SEX: sorry kiddos
28. HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: this weekend with sean
29. YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: my turtle neclace
30. PERSON YOU HATE MOST: so many choices...
31. THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: they had perogies at the cafeteria!
32. COLOR: purple and blue
33. MOVIE : waynes world 1&2, ferris bueler's day off, independence day, plus many others
34. BOOK: everything by wally lamb
36. JUICE: white grape
37. CARS: VW jetta <--- agree
38. ICE CREAM: grape
39. HOLIDAY: christmas
40. SEASON: summer
41. BREAKFAST FOOD: i don't eat breakfast
43. MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST: sean, laura, cortney, eddo, glenn, burkey, nick,
44. MAKES YOU SMILE: case, sean, ed, kelly, ellie, laura, maya, cortney, colleen,
47. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: no comment!
48. CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER NO MATTER WHAT: sean, eddo, laura, cort, braydon and the toddlers
52. SAVE E-MAILS: yup
56. COLOGNE: adidas
57. PERFUME: adidas
58. KISS: you know who you are
59. ROMANTIC MEMORY: laying out under the stars
60. MOST RECENT ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: you should become a tree farmer!
61. Fallen for your best friend?: haha yea...a couple times...
62. Made out w/ JUST a friend?: yup
63. Been rejected?: yea, but he later made up for it
64. Been in love?: i think so
65. Been in lust?: yea
66. Used someone?: i don't think so
67. Been used?: yea
68. Cheated on someone?: no
69. Been cheated on?: i hope not
70. Been kissed?: of course
71. Done something you regret?: lots of things...
72. You touched?: my mommy
73. You talked to?: abbey
74. You hugged?: laura
75. You instant messaged?: moira
76. You kissed?: pat...heh
77. You had sex with?: nope
78. You yelled at?: jalen
79. You laughed with?: my brother
80. Who broke your heart?: you know who you are
81. Who told you they loved you?: my mommy
82. Color your hair?: yep
83. Have tattoos?: not yet
84. Have piercings?: yea
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both?: laura will always be my girlfriend.
86. Own a webcam?: yea, but i don't use it
87. Own a thong?: heh
88. Ever get off the computer?: yep
89. Sprechen sie deutsche?: i'm offended
90. Habla espanol?: un poco
91. Quack?: ed?
92. Stolen anything?: haha yea...
93. Smoke?: eww..no.
94. Schizophrenic?: probably
95. Obsessive?: hope not
96. Compulsive?: yes
97. Obsessive compulsive?: a little..
98. Panic?: ahh!!
99. Anxiety?: sometimes
100. Depressed?: sometimes
101. Suicidal?: i have been before
102. Obsessed with hate?: umm...
103. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: sorry, no.
104. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them?: uhhh??
105. If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: at the beach
106. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: no, sadly
107. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: eyes
108. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: is she were good.
109. Would you marry for money?: never
110. Have you had braces?: yep
111. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: i did once...ouch
112. Do you like hairy backs?: um...gross
113. When was the last time you had a hickey?: about a year
114. Could you live without a computer?: sure
115. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc...?: AOL Buddy List? who wrote this?
116. If so, how many people are on your list/s?: more than necessary
117. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be?: the 80's
118. Do you drink enough water?: fuck yes
119. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: umm
121. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: white
122. What is your favorite place to visit?: the beach
123. What is the last movie you saw: i am sam
124. Do you kiss on the first date?: depends on the person
125. Are you photogenic?: nope
126. Do you dream in color or black and white?: color
127. Are you wearing fingernail polish?:yep
128. Is it chipped or fresh?: chipped
129. Do you have any dimples?: nope
130. Do you remember being born?: no...?
131. Why do you take surveys?: to waste time
132. Do you drink alcohol? i have
If so, what is your favorite drink?: ?
133. Did you like or do you like high school?: I liked band and jazz band...
134. What is the best accent?: italian
135. Who do you want to kiss?: chris martin...
136. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: sets
137. Do you want to live to be 100?: no thanks
138. Is a flat stomach important to you? no...
139. Do you or have you played with a ouiji board?: yep
140. Are you loyal?: yes
141. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: yes, unless they're really stupid
142. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: off
143. Do you have nightmares frequently?: sometimes
144. Do you like your nose?: i guess...
145. Do you think you can draw well?: not really
146. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: about 8 i think
147. How many pairs of shoes are in your closet?: 5
148. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: usually the same ones
149. Do you write poetry?: I have
150. Do you snore?: when i'm sick
151. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: side
152. Dog/Cat?: both please
153. Do you lick stamps?: sure
154. Do you use an electric can opener?: i have both
155. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?: i'd love to
156. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: emotional
157. Favorite TV show?: friends
158. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?: yea
159. Do you prefer a piano or a violin? piano!
160. Are you a sex addict?: no
161. Do you know someone who has cancer?: yes
162. Do you like to argue?: it depends on whom i'm arguing with and what we're arguing about
163. Do you hunt?: no
164. Do you like fast food joints, or restaurants?: restaurants
165. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?: both
166. Do you have a middle name? yes
167. Are you basically a happy person?: eh
168. Are you tired?: yes
169. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: yep
170. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?: yea...
171. How many phones do you have in your house?: 4 i think
172. How long is your hair?: lower then my shoulders
173. Do you get along with your parents?: mom yes, dad no
174. What color of eyes do you prefer?: blue or green
175. Full name: jessica marie-claire tolson
176. Were you named after anyone?: my mom's car from college
177. Do you wish on stars?: i have before
178. Which finger is your favorite?: um...
179. When did you last cry?: yesterday after talking to my dad
180. If you were making a movie about yourself, what would the title be?:utterly confused
181. Do you like your handwriting?: yep
182. Who do you admire & Why?: my gram and my mom...cause they're awesome
183. What is the #1 priority in your life?: my friends and family
184. What is your favorite lunchmeat?: turkey?
185. Any bad habits?: sure
186. What is your most embarrassing CD: hanson...heh
187. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?: i'd like to think so
188. Are you a daredevil?: no
189. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?: yea...
190. Have you ever stolen anything?: god, you asked me this already.
191. Do looks matter: um?
192. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: never...[whistles and looks around]
193. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: um...no?
194. Do fish have feelings?: yes!
195. Are you trendy?: never
196. How do you release anger/depression?: by hitting people
197. Where is your second home?: my gram's
198. Do you trust others easily?: no
199. What was your favorite toy as a child?: my stuffed lamb
200. What class in school do you think is totally useless?: lifespan
221. Who are the people you care most about?: you know who you are
222. I see: a car being towed
223. I need: too much
224. I find: that these surveys are all the same
225. I want: you to want me
226. I have: to pee
227. I wish: i could sleep instead of going to work
228. I love: cheese!
229. I hate: you!
230. I miss: my friends
231. I fear: rejection
232. I feel: sleepy
233. I hear: the printer
234. I smell: eww...
235. I wonder: when the bus will get here
236. I regret: skipping class today
WHEN WAS THE ... last time maybe
237: Smiled?: just now
238. Laughed?: just now
240. Bought something?: i bought a fish for my mommy last night...
241. Danced?: yesterday
242. Were sarcastic?: all the time
243. Kissed someone?: hmm....sunday?
244. Talked to an ex?: yesterday
245. Watched your favorite movie?: last weekend
246. Do you own any plaid clothing?: yup
247. Do you own Converse shoes?: josh does
248. Do you own Saucony shoes?: nope
249. Do you own old school Nikes?: no
250. Do you wear tight pants?: no
251. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: what?
252. Worn a skirt: uh huh
253. Been mean: of course
254. Been sarcastic: no!!!!
255. Met someone new: not for a while
256. Talked to someone you have a crush on: no?
257. Missed someone: yes
258. Hugged someone: yes
259. Fought with your parents: of course
260. Wished upon a star: yea
261. Laughed until you cried: yep
262. Played Truth or Dare: yep
263. Watched a sunrise/sunset: yes
264. Went to the beach at night: yup...with case!
265. Spent quality time alone: yep
266. Read a book for fun: yep
267. Are you lonely: nope
268. Are you wearing your pajamas: i wish
269. Are you talking to someone online: yep

(hear the saddest songs)

12:54am 10/04/2003
mood: enraged
my. dad. is. an. ass.

and on that note, i'll resume the search for sanity in that strange conversation. g'night.

(hear the saddest songs)

oh, how i yearn for a jetta...   
11:59pm 07/04/2003
mood: crazy
i want a new car--one that i'm not worried about it breaking down while i'm driving it. heh. actually, my car's ok for right now, as far as ghetto cars go anyway, and i really havn't had any problems with it, except of course for that time it stalled while glenn and i were in my driveway. my dad just got the idea in my mom's head that he doesn't think my car can take driving an hour to and from work every day, on top of *hopefully* driving to vacation somewhere. i dunno...even though my car is very ghetto right now, its not a bad car, and it does get my from point a to point b. its always nice to dream of driving something newer...

so, i finally got around to buying sean's cd player for his birthday. ellie, kelly, joan, and my mom all gave me money for it, so i ended up paying for most of it myself, but its cool...thats what refunds from kent state or for! hehe...anyway, so i had this whole suprise thing worked out, and it worked out really well. he was so happy! he basically stopped breathing, and had to pull over the car because he was so excited. :o) i also got him the cher cd, which, of course, he really loved. we went to get chinease food after we dropped the car off at best buy, and it was reeeeaaaaaaaaally good...mmm. it was so great...its nice to make a friend happy, epsicially since he has rarely been happy lately. yay, life is good!

also, i just found out that kristen might be transferring to kent next year! that would be so awesome...my friends from home are my safety net, and its hard being here and not having them here also, and it'll be awesome when kristen goes here to...it'll feel a little more normal. :o)

traci FINALLY got fired. thank god. i mean, i do feel bad for her, but at the same time, i'm so happy because almost all the stress from my job will be taken away now. i was really considering quitting my job, for a lot of reasons. first of all, there are five of us that work REALLY hard at the daycare (me, grant, heather, cortney, and jenn), and because we work really hard, we get a lot more responsibity then the other teachers, but also, we get a lot less respect. sure, it does feel good that we're the first people who are asked to do something when it needs to get done because michelle knows that we will do it right. we care so much about these kids, that we're willing to do more then our share of work to make sure that they are learning and thriving as well as they should be. traci, katrina, lisa, florence, and michelle just do absolutly NOTHING during the day, so they're in their own little group, just sitting around bitching about the stuff that we're not doing right. grr...its just really aggrivating. but, now hopefully things will start to get better...

i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and i'm really nervous about it...blah. :-I

i have the flu again, which is really weird...i havn't had the flu since i was in grade school, and i've already had it two times this year...wtf! lol...i'm tired of being sick! i dont want to do it anymore...ahh! lol, if you can't tell i'm just a tad frustrated...

k, need to get a little more sleep before tomorrow, so i'm gonna go...i'll catch you kids lata...

(hear the saddest songs)

02:40pm 16/03/2003
mood: nervous
so, i got a lead teacher position at work...yay! FINALLY they realize that i actually am capable of something. its cool...though its not in the room i wanted, its still a lead teacher position, which means more money, plus a little more respect too. its all good... and i get to see jackson every day! huah...

well, there was another funeral...so thats 3 in 28 days kids. i'm just hoping that this is all for a while now...i don't think i can handle another time of hearing "on eagle's wings". heh. as you can tell, its been a pretty shitty month...but i have a feeling that better things are on the horizon! :o)

speaking of better things, i have one word: COLDPLAY. damn, i never thought i would fall in love with a band so quickly. it was just AMAZING! chris was just so great, with his little upright piano and how intense he was when he performed-- swoon. case and i had SUCH a good time (obviously), and when the played warning sign i thought i was gonna cry...aw, it was so damn cool. we're DEFINITELY going again...no doubt about it...hehe.

my cousin jeff is still here, which is a good thing. hopefully it'll be a while before he gets sent out, but in reality no on really knows when it will be...blah. i'm really not cool with the war thing. i know i'm not really big on politics, but i am big on saving lives, and that means that i'm anti-war. war just seems so juvenile... i know that its a necessity for us to have it-its how we've gotten land and gotten rid of slavery and become the pillar of freedom that america prides itself in, but at the same time i feel like people are acting like 2-year-olds. i just think that its really juvenile and immature the way that people, instead of trying to figure out a way to make things work out peacefully, just say "hey, well lets just go kill some innocent people and maybe then they'll give us what we want." i know this is coming from someone who doesn't know much about politics in general, but i just think that war is a stupid way of getting what we want. ok, i'm done.

i can't stop thinking about this one person...for some reason he came back into my mind last week, and i can't get him out now! lol...i think the next time i see him i'm gonna tell him how i feel, because its just stupid that i've liked him for so long and he doesn't know about it. i just get all happy when i think about this guy...that has to mean something, right? right jess...keep tellin yourself that. ;0)

my roommate is officially fired. i just can't wait till next year...laura and i are gonna have a BLAST! woo...

i gotta study...lata spuds.

(hear the saddest songs)

12:06am 24/02/2003
mood: cranky
I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

this has been an interesting couple of weeks...heh. here's a list of the new things:

1. sean's grandma and fr. schmidt both passed away within 2 days of each other, so needless to say it was a horrible week.
2. i'm going to see coldplay on sunday with case. :o)
3. i got a new kittie
4. jeff is going to iraq...blah.
5. i'm getting sick again
6. we're trying to get tickets to metallica, but it doesn't seem to be working... damn.
7. i'm gettin closer, kids! ;o)
8. i'm being used by someone, and its the one person that i thought wouldn't use me...hmm...

and thats about it. of course, there are many many details and other neat things going on, but nothing that i really want to report right now. later.

(2 sit alone and wonder | hear the saddest songs)

12:29pm 14/02/2003
mood: sad
this has been the worst week. :o(

two funerals in three days...blah. i'm sorry case and sean...i wish there was more i could do to make you feel better...

(hear the saddest songs)

2 surveys stolen from mazary. :o)   
01:05am 08/02/2003
mood: chipper
Do you bite your nails?: YES
Can you roll your tongue?: i wish i could...heh
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: yea
Can you blow smoke rings?: not a smoker kids
Tattoos?: wouldn't you like to know?
Piercings and where?: ears
Which shoe goes on first?: whichever is closest to me
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet?: enough
What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: earrings, turtle neclace, rings
Favorite Piece of Clothing: my hoodie
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl
Have you ever eaten Spam?: sadly, yes.
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: chocolate/cherry
How many cereals in your cabinet?: i steal laura and maya's cereal.
What's your favorite beverage?: milk!
What's your favorite restaurant?: applebeas
Do you cook?: when i have to
How often do you brush your teeth?: usually 2 times a day
How often do you shower/bathe?: every day
How long does your shower last?: as short as possible...dorm showers, remember...
Do you paint your nails?: not anymore
Do you swear?: why the fuck would anyone fucking swear?
Actor/Actress: tom hanks & john cusack/ meg ryan
Animal: turtles, duh.
Food: cheese!
Month: july
Day: saturday
Cartoon: animaniacs!
Flower: lilacs
Shoe Brand: umm.
Subject in school: exceptionalities
Color: purple and blue
Sport: baseball and soccer
Body part on the opposite sex: hands
TV show: friends, and thats about all i have time to watch...lol.
10 Celebrities you wish you looked like:
((i agree with mary...))
Holiday: chrismas, and groundhog day of course.
Book: everything my aunt recommends for me
Vacationing Spot: canada
Thing To Do In The Spring: steal flowers from places around campus
Thing To Do In The Summer: pimpin wit mary
Thing To Do In The Fall: drive through piles of leaves
Thing To Do In The Winter: eat yellow snow of course.
Perfume or Cologne: estee lauder pleasures, and adidas
Game: risk and american idol with maya and laura
The CD Player: one of glenn's mix cd's
Person you talk most on the phone with: sean, my mom, heather
Ever taken a cab?: yup
Have you ever skinny-dipped with the opposite sex?: no..i'd probably start laughing
Ever sunbathed nude?: no, i would scare the birds away.
Window seat or aisle?: window
What's your sleeping position?: on my side
What kind of bed do you like?: comfy ones
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?: yea, i always use a comforter
Do you snore?: when i'm sick
Do you sleepwalk?: i have before
Do you talk in your sleep?: yes
Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?: sometimes...a large stuffed dog
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?: usually
Coke or Pepsi?: pepsi, yo
Oranges or apples?: oranges
One pillow or two?: three
Deaf or blind?: i think i'd rather be blind...so i could listen to music <------ agree with mary
Pools or hot tubs?: hot tubs
Blondes or brunettes?: brownies
TV or radio?: tv
Beach or pool?: beach
Tic-Tacs or Certs?: certs can spark if you bite em right!
Snooze button or jump out of bed?: i hit the snooze button at least 10 times before i get up
Sunrise or Sunset?: either/or
Hamburger or Cheeseburger?: kathy lee giffordburger <----- agree
Morning or night?: night
Sports or news?: news
Indoors or outdoors?: outdoors
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?: christmas day
Cake or ice cream?: cake
Bert or Ernie?: ernie!
Peanut Butter or Jelly?: so this one time my friend cortney and i were at the store, and we saw this old lady and she was handing out samples of this peanut butter/jelly stuff that was in the form of one of those cheese slices, you know, the ones with the clear plastic paper thats in a weird shape, and also somewhat confusing to open because i never get the right side. anyway, so cortney and i both took a sample, just to be nice, and we both said that it was really good, but in reality we thought it was the grossest thing in the world. and thats what i think about peanut butter and jelly.
Hamburger or Hot Dog?: like i said, kathy lee giffordog
Dog or Cat? both, please.
Bath or shower? shower
Book or Movie?: too many
Green or Red apples?: green
Rain or Snow?: rain
Took a shower?: this morning
Watched Bambi: a couple years ago while babysitting
Cried? umm, yesterday?
Talked on the phone?: tonight
Read a book?: "the pact" during break
Where do you see yourself in ten years?: hopefully not still at kent state.
How many kids?: at least 3
Your profession: tree farmer.


((((numero dos...))))

five things that make you laugh :
01. cortney's AWESOME nap-time music
02. laura b
03. the comercial with the guy in the car with the other guy and the coffee and the nelly song playing...yea
04. braydon
05. snowmen flipping me off

five things you love :
01. my pets
02. my family and friends
03. cheese
04. working at the daycare
05. sleep

five things you hate :
01. being away from my friends
02. people who are obnoxious and rude
03. fig newtons
04. being the daycare secretary
05. not having sleep

five things on your computer desk :
01. my phone
02. cds
03. all my daycare shit i have to do
04. a magazine
05. a book i'm reading

five facts about you :
01. i hate confrontations
02. i wish i could go back to a year ago, without all the bullshit.
03. i get annoyed very easily
04. i love kids
05. i also love my journal

five famous people you want to meet :
01. kirk hammit
02. harry connick jr.
03. andrew lloyd webber
04. conan!
05. eminem

top five bands/artists you love :
01. metallica
02. dashboard confessional
03. good charlotte
04. mest
05. lots of other guys

five objects you love :
01. jackson and braydon from the daycare
02. my green pen
03. my turtle snow globe
04. my bobbing sumo-wrestlers
05. my bed

five foods/drinks :
01. cheese
02. cheese
03. cheese
04. diet pop
05. cheese

five (by five i mean 10 of course) favorite friendships right now :
01. laura
02. mary
03. heather
04. cortney
05. glenn
06. jenn
07. kelly
08. casey
09. eddo
10. abby


ZangLittleTurtle: mazary, you're my hero
piNk buNNy laNd: ditto
ZangLittleTurtle: so, whats shakin, bacon?
piNk buNNy laNd: im fakin and rakin
ZangLittleTurtle: thats my second favorite thing to do
piNk buNNy laNd: besides takin and makin?
ZangLittleTurtle: of course
piNk buNNy laNd: haha im posting that

(2 sit alone and wonder | hear the saddest songs)

12:58am 08/02/2003
mood: awake
piNk buNNy laNd (12:56:54 AM): whats goin down in kizzententzent

i realized what i want to do for the rest of my life, i just need to figure out how to do that...hmm.

oh, and i'm really missing old times with glenn and mary and everyone from last year...blah. i think i need to hang out with those guys again sometime soon. definitely...

(hear the saddest songs)

12:01am 07/02/2003
mood: indescribable
6 years....damn. :o(

so, i just got a call from case and eddo! woo...i'm so happy now. i was feeling so homesick, and then they called me and made me fell better. :o) case's uncle got us coldplay tickets for 7th row!!!! huah...it's gonna be soooo much fun. i can't wait to see those guys again...for some reason this week i've been missing my friends from home so much more then ever, and it was really awesome to talk to them. yay. now when i get to see some of them next weekend, it will be even better. :o)

oh, one piece of horrible news, sean's grandma is dying, which is heartbreaking. it just all happened so fast, with her getting sick and everything. i feel so horrible for him, and i just wish i could be there in person for him to kinda helphim through it, because obviously he's not taking it well. i offered my home for him to stay at for awhile since he doesn't really know where he's gonna live, but he doesn't know...i just don't want him to have to be in this situation...blah.

well, so there is one really cool thing and two really crappy things on my mind tonight, and i also have two tests tomorrow...heh. so i'm gonna go. adios.

(hear the saddest songs)

12:37am 06/02/2003
  Thug Bear
Thug Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

(2 sit alone and wonder | hear the saddest songs)

10:19pm 05/02/2003
mood: amused
piNk buNNy laNd (10:15:14 PM): blurp
ZangLittleTurtle (10:15:20 PM): bling
piNk buNNy laNd (10:16:41 PM): shit
ZangLittleTurtle (10:16:51 PM): yes?
piNk buNNy laNd (10:17:58 PM): errm

(3 sit alone and wonder | hear the saddest songs)

the metallicats.   
01:03am 02/02/2003
mood: artistic
just call me martha-f'in-stewart. :-)

umm, so heather called my boss and told her that if she doesn't stop screwing cort and me over, she's gonna lose 6 employees, so hopefully everything will work out. i hope so anyway...i don't wanna start to look for a new job yet...lol...i wouldn't mind it so much if i actually wanted a secretary's job, but sadly i would actually like to work with the kids. I know thats asking for a lot, but, ya know, if i'm gonna be a teacher i would like a little more experience with children then filing forms with their names on them. But, a girl's gotta eat! and wear pretty clothes...lol...so we'll see. Pretty soon cortney and i are just gonna get a couple of nameplates for the desk since thats where we'll probably be staying for quite a while...heh. good times.

things are swell, even though i fell out of my chair in class yesterday in front of greg. of all classes to fall out of my chair in! sheesh...thats ok, cause according to maya, it was probably just really funny....or, just something that loveable me would do. whippah. i joined the CEC, and hopefully it'll be really cool for me to get involved with...and, of course a certain someone is there too, which makes it all better. :o) oh, and speaking of exceptional children, we got another autistic boy at the daycare, and i (apparently) will be taking care of a little boy named Jackson who had down syndrom. woo..i never thought i'd be excited about having kids with handicapps at the daycare...haha. i'm just really excited to be getting the experience.

IT'S THE NORTH V.S. THE SOUTH YET AGAIN! and the north HAS to win...again. and we will... the good side always wins.

so i guess everyone that i know on campus is living in the same dorm as me next year...woo. it should be a good time. i'm actually really really excited for next year, even though maya will be in italy. it's gonna be weird without her here, but hopefully she'll have a great time and we'll talk to her a bunch while she's gone. i wish i was going to italy...

oh, speaking of italy, i found the web site for my family in italy! woo...now, if only i could speak italian...

going to see chris soon, which i'm really excited for. and also, as soon as i get up the money, i'm getting my computer back, which will really be a relief.

k, lata spuds.

(hear the saddest songs)

and here we go again.   
11:23pm 20/01/2003
mood: accomplished
well, mary told me to update, so i'm going to. yea.

umm...yet again, life is going better and better. a LOT less complicated, for certain reasons, and also 10 times busier. apparently its possible to be decreasingly complicated, but increasingly busy...hmm. right. so, i LOVE my job...i'm, of course getting more and more into it...cortney and i have been working our asses off on our room in the past two weeks, and it finally looks great, (thanks to a bunch of shit from my basement, plus tons of donations from the other daycare). we're proud of ourselves! heh...um, so they hired this new girl for our room, and of course, she gets my hours. and now, i'm being bumped out of the room i've been in for 4 1/2 months, into a completely new room, just because of this stupid ditzy girl who is taking all our hours, and can't even teach. ((sorry, i just got done with a bitch session w/ a few of my co-workers...lol.)) anyway, so work has been kinda crazy, with the new owners, and most of us hating them, but HEATHER'S BACK! woo... it finally feels somewhat normal again now.

speaking of heather, she, cort and i went out the other night and had a really good time. it was cool...bowling rocks. :o) and old guys. and large hoochies. heh.

so, the other day i went to my gram's for dinner--always a great experience of course, and my aunt mary, sarah, dan, and uncle lee were there with my aunt rita, and my three-person-family, so we had a good time. what did we do, you ask? oh no, not board games, not old home movies, but scratch-off lottery tickets. my cousin and i actually bought 33 of them, most of the bought in change from my mom and her sisters' purses, and we sat around scratching them off with metal spoons. suprisingly, we had a BLAST. lol...it is the weirdest family bonding ritual i've ever participated in, but definitely a lot of fun.

winter break was, of course, enjoyable. we all had a good time, though i decided to pick the people i hung out with very carefully this time, and actually ended up drama-less. it was nice.

my dad is sick, but he's not saying anything to us about just how sick he is, so i don't really know what to expect from him. its scary, because i always think that i have a lot of years left to patch things up with him, but i'm not sure that thats the truth anymore. blah...it'll happen sooner or later, hopefully anyway.

um, male status: the fellow i've been infatuated with for quite some time, i've given up on. its not gonna work, and i just need to accept it. so i have. :o) and have moved on...and actually, there is a potential relationship on the horizon, and this time i can actually see it maybe working...woo. very nice guy, definitely my type, some of the same interests, so we'll see...

nothing else really to report...i know i've forgotten a billion important things that happened recently, but oh well. i'm tired, and am going to bed. night kids.

(2 sit alone and wonder | hear the saddest songs)

look...an update!   
01:45am 15/11/2002
mood: cheerful
huah...so things have been going fairly well for me lately...here are some random details

1. someone who i hated in highschool is now becoming my friend--kinda...hmm...
2. my roommate hasn't slept in our room for three weeks
3. i keep making up words that aren't in the dictionary
4. i almost killed my turtles
5. my job is absolutely wonderful
6. i just changed my major to special education, with *hopefully* a specialization in autism
7. i'm going to see my cousin chris soon...woo
8. i am one of four girls in my hallway that actually washes their hands after they use the restroom
9. i recently found that one of my cats has been sleeping in my room every night since i left to come back to school...aww!
10. sean and i were almost killed sunday night...well, we thought we were gonna die... well, i thought so lol

life is splended, mostly because of my job and my friends. school is...ok...i'm totally pumped about the piano class i'm taking next semester...FINALLY i'll be able to use a practice room in the music and speech building (which, thankfully, is really close to my dorm, since next semester i plan on being there A LOT), and i'm really excited to be taking some classes in special ed. i've been reading a lot about autism, and it also helps that one of the boys in my toddler class is autistic, so i kinda know what to expect. i feel really bad for him though, because he's not in a special school, where he should be. i mean, its not like courtney and i can spend all the time we need to with him since there are 11 other 1-3 year olds we need to be watching. he's starting to communicate a little with me, but lately, since we've gotten two more kids in the class, he seems to be getting worse. i feel really bad and wish i could do more, but his parents refuse to admit that he has a problem. the worst thing is, he has a twin brother who is a completely normal 3-year-old, so we are almost forced to compare the two. its tough, but also extremely fulfilling when he makes the little progresses, like the first time he spoke in the class ((he said "book")) i was so excited i came home and called my mom to tell her about it. see, now i know what i want to do for the rest of my life, and thats something i havn't known for a really long time. yay...

ok, now, aside from the whole work thing, life has been pretty peachy for the past week or so. i saw TMBG in concert, which was quite possibly the most fun concert i've ever seen. mary and i had a great time...huah. it was great because they played every single song we were waiting for during the 2-hour set, except for the two that we were waiting for THE MOST. so, of course, they came out for an oncour, and played on of them, and mary and i went CRAZY, but were still waiting for our very favorite song ((particle man)), so were kinda sad, but we started yelling for them to come back out, and they did, and of course, played particle man. i just kept thinking about jazz band and how we all used to sing those songs all the time...aw, i miss mr. p.!!! lol...

looking for a new AIM icon...any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

my brother got his ear pierced, which is fine with me because its a lot better then the whole tongue piercing thing he was gonna do...ew, i hate those. ((sorry john...lol...)) josh is a neato kid...i'm glad he's my brother. :o)

i miss christmas carol! this is the first year in 8 years that i havn't done the play... it just won't seem like christmas without dressing up in old moldy clothes from the 1800's, and standing out in the front of SCT singing while stupid teenagers yell things at us...lol. seriously though, i'm gonna miss the play...its a tradition, espicially for joshers and me. oh well, i'll still go around caroling i'm sure.

things with my dad are gradually improving, which makes a lot of stuff better. he told me he was proud of me for the first time in 6 years, which really REALLY means a whole lot, and i guess he's been asking my mom about me too, which disproves the theory i have that he really doesn't care...hmm. i know he's been sick and he has to go in for some more tests, so i wonder if that has anything to do with it...well, i guess it doesn't really matter, because at least now he's showing an interest.

laura and i are planning on going to the rec every day...any bets on how long THAT will last? lol...

things are well with the BBS and the golden girls...no romances to report yet, but a few potentials...hmm. oh, and very soon the web site will be updated with a ton of new pictures...yay! laura just got a whole bunch developed, including one from a certain night last semester with a certain guy...yea, i kinda wish i could tear that picture up...lol. but thats ok. maybe i'll put that one on the site...then y'all can see what he looks like! lol...

hmm...not much else to report, except that i'm debating on whether to cut my hair or keep it long. the general consensus is that i shouldn't cut it, but i'm kinda aching for a change. we'll see...

and on that note, i do believe that i'm going to sleep now, since class and work comes quite early in the AM. nighty kids...

(hear the saddest songs)

12:03am 31/10/2002

(hear the saddest songs)

01:39am 16/10/2002
mood: contemplative
sorry for the non-updating...heh. yea, so i've been going through a whole bunch of shit lately, so thats the reason i havn't been reporting on my daily activities and such. though it is pretty important stuff, i havn't yet told a soul about it yet, therefore i don't find it right to write about it on an online journal, to be read by everyone in my buddy list. when i feel confident enough not to seem like a freaking psycho, i'll let y'all know whats been goin on inside my noggin, k? k. good night all.

(1 sit alone and wonder | hear the saddest songs)

09:33am 14/10/2002

(hear the saddest songs)

good god...i have goosebumps.   
03:28am 29/09/2002
mood: awake
so, i listened to a few of the songs on the new good charlotte cd tonight, and i realized that i HAVE to have it. i mean, i have to. i almost started crying when i heard this song because its so much like this letter i keep writing to my dad over and over again and never sending...lol. i know, he's getting better, but still, this is an awesome song, and so true...tonight at jamie's wedding, when they did the father/daughter dance i had to leave the room because i started to cry...well, i couldn't help it! lol...my mom just looked at me with this look like "i'm sorry you'll never have this with your dad" kinda thing, and i just had to leave...i feel so stupid most of the time because there are so many things that i can't handle anymore. i need to start up therapy again...maya said that she was gonna start going with me so we both wouldn't feel so stupid having to talk to someone about what exactly is wrong with us...heh. not like we have a defect or anything, just that there are certain things about us that need to be fixed, and we can't do it by ourselves. thats ok, right? right. anyway, here's the song that literally made my heart stop when i heard it...its awesome.

hey dad, i'm writing to you
not to tell you
that i still hate you,
just to ask you how you feel,
and how we fell apart...how this fell apart,
are you happy out there
in this great wide world,
do you think about your son?
do you miss your little girl?
when you lay your head down
how do you sleep at night?
do you even wonder if we're all right?
we're alright we're alright...

its been a long hard road without you by my side
why weren't you there all the nights we cried?
you broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life,
its not ok, but we're alright
i remember the days you were a hero in my eyes,
but those are just a long lost memory of mine.
i've spent so many years learnin how to survive,
now i'm writing just to let you know that we're still alive...

the days i've spent so
cold, so hungry,
were full of hate,
i was so angry.
the scars run deep inside this tatooed body,
there's things i'll take to my grave,
but i'm ok, i'm ok...

its been a long hard road without you by my side
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?
you broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life,
its not ok, but we're alright
i remember the days you were a hero in my eyes,
but those are just a long lost memory of mine,
now i'm writing just you let you know that i'm still alive,
yea i'm still alive

sometimes i forgive,
yea and this time i'll let live,
dad i miss you,
i said i miss you...

its been a long hard road without you by my side
why weren't you there all the nights we cried?
you broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life,
its not ok, but we're alright i remember the days you were a hero in my eyes, but those are just a long lost memory of mine, now i'm writing just to let you know i'm still alive...

and sometimes i forgive, this time i'll let live,
and i miss you, i miss you...hey dad...

so...umm...i'm gonna go study or sleep or something. ed, shan and casey called me tonight! woo...i was excited. i hadnt talked to any of them for a really long time. i might go up there tomorrow...that could be kinda cool. bye byes.

(1 sit alone and wonder | hear the saddest songs)

11:39am 21/09/2002

(hear the saddest songs)

at the risk of sounding like one of my preschoolers, "i wanna go home!"   
12:34am 20/09/2002
mood: sore
so, here's my med center story:

so, yesterday morning (that would be wednesday morning) i wake up, and the entire left side of my face is really swollen and it really hurts. so i'm like "what the fuck is going on!" like, it was so swollen that it made the side of my mouth droop down and it looked like i was two different people on the two sides. freaky. lol. so, i kept cold stuff on it all day, with hopes of getting the swelling down, and laura and maya said that i should wait a day to go to the med center because they basically suck, and plus the swelling might go down. so by wednesday night, my gums and teeth and jaw and all that were throbbing, and i was taking a bunch of aleve and all that...i slept a lot, so that made it a little better. so i went to bed with hopes that the swelling would go down, and sadly, i woke up with a left side of the face twice the size it was the day before, and i was terrified because i didn't know what was going on. maya was like "jessica, go to the med center now and figure out what the fuck is going on with your face...like now." i think laura and maya were wondering as much as i was what was going on...heh. friends rule. so, i wait around forever for them to fit me in, and then the doctor calls me back an hour later then she was supposed to, which really was ok because ken and yaell were there, so i got to talk to both of them. but anyway, so as everyone probably knows, i absolutely hate doctors...i usually black out at some point in the exam, which of course, i did. i know, its stupid, but its all in my head...weird stuff. so, i go back there, and she is really confused as to whats going on with me, and she goes to ask another doctor, and the general consensus is that i have an infection in one of my glands, which is making all this swelling and pain and all that...fun. so i get a bunch of pain pills and anti-biotics, and am told that if it doesn't get better in the next two days i need to go to the emergency room because there's something else going on. so thats always comforting, espicially since it is showing no signs of getting better-- it actually might be getting a little worse. so here i am, sitting at my desk with a vanilla coke can pressed on my jaw, and i of course can't eat because i can't open my mouth wider then a spoon...so my diet has consisted of yogart. heh. anyway, not that this is something i want to complain about, i just am a little worried about it...heh. my mom has called me like a dozen times in the last day and a half...i miss her like ten times more when i 'm sick. haha...so...thats my story. good times...

so rhonda was in a really bad car accident...i feel so horrible about it. i wish i was back in salem so i could be there for all the people that it affected...i guess josh is really upset. but, hopefully, she'll start to improve. i don't know what i would do if someone close to me got into an accident like that...i miss everyone so much! lol... i guess this entry seems to be pretty depressing, when really i've been having a really good week, other then all that other stuff...lol.

i got that job at the day care center up here, so i'm really really excited about that too. i'm going in tomorrow to talk to the manager and all that, so thats awesome. i'll only be working three days a week, so thats not too bad, but i wll actually have some money...which is, of course, a very good thing for a college student. :o)

and on that note, i'm gonna try to sleep for a while...i have an exam in the AM, so wish me luck kids! nighty...

(hear the saddest songs)

10:57am 14/09/2002
  sammie and alex. :o)  

(hear the saddest songs)

i forgot!   
01:01am 13/09/2002
  oh! and baby turtles! i got two of em, and they still don't have names yet...heh. um... if anyone has any ideas for cute names, lemme know because otherwise maya is gonna name em don and juan...help save the baby turtles! lol.  

(hear the saddest songs)

i am   
12:58am 13/09/2002
mood: busy
i have changed so much, and it seems like i'm changing more and more every day. sometimes i wake up in the mornings and i love the preson i am quickly becoming, and then other days i just wish i could go back to the person i used to be. i am so much more bitter now then i ever have been, and i don't seem to trust people. but on the other hand, i also have my eyes open so i can see the real person standing in front of me instead of the person i want them to be. its weird for me, to wake up and see a different person evey day when i look in the mirror-- almost like i am growing all the time. its really nice, to be able to say that i am finally my own person, but i also need peopel to lean on, and i thankfully have those people whenever i need them. granted, they are definitely not the same people i used to trust with everything--those people don't have a clue what i am going through. but, i can truthfully say that these people are my best friends, and i know in my heart that they will always be there for me, for whatever i need from them. don't get me wrong, it does hurt that some of the people i used to tell everything, and who, at some point, i thought knew more about me then i do, don't care anymore, but not having them has made me realize that i can't do this on my own, and i deserve to have people who love me to be there for me. and if they can't, then i will find people who will, and have. so, thank you to all the people who care enough about me to listen to me bitch about whatever is going on-- it means more to me then anything, just like always. i seriously don't know what i would do if i didn't have these seven people in my life...you guys have been my lifesavers, just like always, and i love you more then you will ever know. you have all helped me to realize what i need and want in my life, and what is just making it worse. you guys have given me strength, and helped me to let my true colors show through. i'm not a strong person, but with you guys around i feel like i could lift the weight of the world onto my shoulders, and you will all be there to help me...its a great feeling. i know i'm getting all sentimental and all that, but, well, its been a bad day. lol...i guess i just am realizing how thankful i am to have seven people i can talk to about anything, when some people don't even have one. i wouldn't give you guys up for the world, and i hope you all realize that. whew, at least i got that off my chest. :o)

so, i had lunch with ryan today...that was really cool. we got out of music early and went to the student center...we had a good time. ryan is a rockin person...huah. lol... hmm...what else has been going on. oh! KIAC (kent israel action commitee) has recruited their first catholic jew. heh...maybe i should explain that. so, maya is the pres. of KIAC, and she's like "jessica! come to one of our meetings, because we want to get more people involved, and not just jewish people." so i was like, "ok". already hillel thinks of me as one of their members because i go to everything...what can i say, i like hanging out with those people a lot. and they actually think its cool that i'm a catholic, because judiasm is so close to catholicism. so, i go to meetings and rally's and bbq's and all that, and we all have a good time. so we're sitting there at KIAC, and maya asks me what opinions i have on how to get more people around campus involved in israel and all that, and i just start throwing out ideas to her and the rest of the group, and they all pretty much liked them. it was really cool...it was like they were appreciation my opinion, even though i wasn't jewish, and the whole group is composed of jews. so it was awesome...definitely a cool thing. so i've been recruited to help get more religions to learn more about israel and their side in the conflict, and thats something i'm really excited about because i feel like i want to be involved in SOMETHING at kent, so i don't fell like my time here has been wasted. and, today i went to my first catholic student association metting, and that was cool also...they're going to camden this spring, and i'm DEFINITELY going to go to that. maybe i'll see genesis again! woo...

so the general shit that has been going on family wise and such for the last two months is still going on...heh. and to make matters worse i have no contact with my family because my phone doesn't work all the time...blah. and i guess my cousin nate was just shipped out this week, so everyone should keep nate in your prayers...or something. lol...nate is totally a cool kid...

and school is totally stressing me out. espicially my russian math teacher...heh. its tutor time! lol...

and on that note, i'm gong to sleep. g'night.

(hear the saddest songs)

funny conversations :o)   
06:18pm 05/09/2002
mood: dorky
babypandasean (4:25:33 PM): geez oh jermaine
ZangLittleTurtle (4:25:45 PM): lol
babypandasean (4:25:52 PM): grrr
babypandasean (4:25:56 PM): anyway
babypandasean (4:26:17 PM): your favorite fiona apple song is on right now
ZangLittleTurtle (4:26:25 PM): lol
babypandasean (4:27:01 PM): "i've been a bad bad girl">:o
ZangLittleTurtle (4:27:07 PM): oh god
ZangLittleTurtle (4:27:10 PM): make it stop
babypandasean (4:27:23 PM): i've been careless with a delicate man
babypandasean (4:27:37 PM): and it's a sad sad world,
ZangLittleTurtle (4:27:44 PM): NO HAVE TO LISTEN TO MOULIN ROUGE
ZangLittleTurtle (4:27:51 PM): HAVE TO BLOCK OUT CREEPY SONG
babypandasean (4:27:59 PM): when a girl will break her boy just because she can-an
babypandasean (4:28:24 PM): ok
babypandasean (4:28:26 PM): i am donw
ZangLittleTurtle (4:28:28 PM): at least i don't have to see the face
babypandasean (4:28:28 PM): *done
babypandasean (4:29:38 PM): you will eventually
babypandasean (4:29:43 PM): (evil laugh)
ZangLittleTurtle (4:29:49 PM): come what may
ZangLittleTurtle (4:29:54 PM): i will love you until my dying day
babypandasean (4:29:56 PM): THE HILLS
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:00 PM): are alive
babypandasean (4:30:00 PM): ARE ALIVE
babypandasean (4:30:05 PM): WITH THE SOUND
babypandasean (4:30:07 PM): OF MUSIC
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:08 PM): of music
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:09 PM): dammit
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:10 PM): lol
babypandasean (4:30:12 PM): OHA
babypandasean (4:30:14 PM): HA
babypandasean (4:30:15 PM): HA
babypandasean (4:30:16 PM): AH
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:18 PM): its a little bit funny
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:21 PM): this feeling inside
babypandasean (4:30:24 PM): I AM FASTER THAN YOU ARE
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:25 PM): i'm not one of those
babypandasean (4:30:26 PM): HE HE
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:30 PM): who can easily hide
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:35 PM): you suck
babypandasean (4:30:35 PM): YEA YOU ARE
babypandasean (4:30:38 PM): HEE HEE
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:39 PM): freak
babypandasean (4:30:40 PM): YOU SUCH
babypandasean (4:30:44 PM): *SUCK
babypandasean (4:30:48 PM): WOOPS
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:48 PM): i such, huh?
babypandasean (4:30:51 PM): BLEW THAT
ZangLittleTurtle (4:30:52 PM): haha
babypandasean (4:31:00 PM): I REALLLY DON'T LIKE ALL CAPS
ZangLittleTurtle (4:31:10 PM): then why are you typing in them
ZangLittleTurtle (4:31:11 PM): freak
babypandasean (4:31:15 PM): THEY MAKE ME DIZ.......
babypandasean (4:31:25 PM): whoa that was a close one
ZangLittleTurtle (4:31:29 PM): haha
babypandasean (4:31:32 PM): i passed out
babypandasean (4:31:34 PM): sorry
ZangLittleTurtle (4:31:41 PM): lol
ZangLittleTurtle (4:31:43 PM): ALANIS
ZangLittleTurtle (4:31:47 PM): **excuse me**
babypandasean (4:31:56 PM): what
babypandasean (4:32:00 PM): does that mean
babypandasean (4:32:03 PM): literally
babypandasean (4:32:06 PM): i am lost
babypandasean (4:32:07 PM): huh
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:07 PM): i was just excited that uninvited came on
babypandasean (4:32:13 PM): oh
babypandasean (4:32:14 PM): otay
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:15 PM): but i realized that you're not here
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:16 PM): lol
babypandasean (4:32:18 PM): freak
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:20 PM): and it didn't really make snes
babypandasean (4:32:22 PM): i mean
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:22 PM): *sense
babypandasean (4:32:23 PM): uh
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:26 PM): right
babypandasean (4:32:28 PM): never mind
babypandasean (4:32:32 PM): was that outloud
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:33 PM): you insensitive asshole
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:35 PM): yes
babypandasean (4:32:36 PM): ha
babypandasean (4:32:40 PM): woops
babypandasean (4:32:44 PM): not lil
babypandasean (4:32:47 PM): kim again
babypandasean (4:32:50 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhh
ZangLittleTurtle (4:32:53 PM): hahahahah

ZangLittleTurtle (4:34:36 PM): budha
babypandasean (4:34:37 PM): hhhhhhhh
babypandasean (4:34:40 PM): ahhhhh
ZangLittleTurtle (4:34:42 PM): woooooooooo
ZangLittleTurtle (4:34:48 PM): shizzel!
babypandasean (4:34:52 PM): i wonder if the budha has a vagina
ZangLittleTurtle (4:34:56 PM): i'm sure
ZangLittleTurtle (4:34:57 PM): i mean
babypandasean (4:34:58 PM): who knows
ZangLittleTurtle (4:35:03 PM): well, maybe he has both
babypandasean (4:35:08 PM): he is always sitting cross legged
ZangLittleTurtle (4:35:10 PM): i mean, he is the budha
ZangLittleTurtle (4:35:11 PM): haha
babypandasean (4:35:15 PM): so who knows
ZangLittleTurtle (4:35:20 PM): he's probably trying to hide his erection
babypandasean (4:35:26 PM): eeewww
babypandasean (4:35:30 PM): icky
babypandasean (4:35:35 PM): you tard
ZangLittleTurtle (4:35:38 PM): lol
babypandasean (4:36:10 PM): any way
ZangLittleTurtle (4:36:13 PM): "i've been pissing in the wind"
babypandasean (4:36:14 PM): well then
babypandasean (4:36:15 PM): woo
ZangLittleTurtle (4:36:22 PM): speaking of that i have to go to the bathroom
ZangLittleTurtle (4:36:23 PM): brb
babypandasean (4:36:23 PM): noooooo
babypandasean (4:36:27 PM): you could go blind
babypandasean (4:36:32 PM): ewwe
babypandasean (4:36:35 PM): too much info
babypandasean (4:36:41 PM): way too much
babypandasean (4:36:44 PM): have fun
ZangLittleTurtle (4:39:31 PM): woo
ZangLittleTurtle (4:39:36 PM): you know what i think is gross?
ZangLittleTurtle (4:39:47 PM): when people go to the bathroom and don't wash their hands
babypandasean (4:40:02 PM): i know
babypandasean (4:40:08 PM): but if you don't
ZangLittleTurtle (4:40:11 PM): it seems like every time i'm in the bathroom, someone else in there is going and then just walks out
ZangLittleTurtle (4:40:17 PM): without washing
babypandasean (4:40:17 PM): your hands taste really good
ZangLittleTurtle (4:40:22 PM): oh god
babypandasean (4:40:35 PM): i love it when cooks do that
babypandasean (4:40:40 PM): mmmmmm
ZangLittleTurtle (4:40:43 PM): thats disguesting
ZangLittleTurtle (4:40:44 PM): seriously

babypandasean (4:43:44 PM): the phrase "who knows" has been used a lot this conversation
ZangLittleTurtle (4:43:50 PM): yup yup
ZangLittleTurtle (4:43:53 PM): sooooooooooooooo...
babypandasean (4:43:59 PM): so i think i will say something else instead
babypandasean (4:44:05 PM): like ,
babypandasean (4:44:07 PM): mmm
babypandasean (4:44:10 PM): let me see
babypandasean (4:44:12 PM): oh i know
babypandasean (4:44:20 PM): meatloaf pie
ZangLittleTurtle (4:44:25 PM): mmmmmm
ZangLittleTurtle (4:44:28 PM): my favorite treat
babypandasean (4:44:37 PM): or tasty gerbil
ZangLittleTurtle (4:44:46 PM): yes
babypandasean (4:44:52 PM): not as a treat but as a new phrase
ZangLittleTurtle (4:45:07 PM): oh, well that too i suppose
babypandasean (4:45:22 PM): you are so groddy
babypandasean (4:45:28 PM): eeeew
babypandasean (4:45:30 PM): icky
babypandasean (4:45:49 PM): shizzel
babypandasean (4:45:55 PM): what does that mean
babypandasean (4:45:57 PM): anyway
ZangLittleTurtle (4:45:58 PM): shazamm!
babypandasean (4:46:01 PM): i am so lost
ZangLittleTurtle (4:46:04 PM): haha me too
babypandasean (4:46:13 PM): are we in a classic batman fight scene or what
ZangLittleTurtle (4:46:19 PM): yesssssss
babypandasean (4:46:31 PM): what are you a snake now
babypandasean (4:46:38 PM): with the hissing
ZangLittleTurtle (4:46:40 PM): kiss my ass captain
ZangLittleTurtle (4:46:41 PM): i mean
ZangLittleTurtle (4:46:43 PM): sean
babypandasean (4:46:45 PM): hey
babypandasean (4:46:48 PM): that hurt
babypandasean (4:47:02 PM): you know i am only an admiral
babypandasean (4:47:13 PM): or is an admiral higher ranking
babypandasean (4:47:18 PM): i don't think so
ZangLittleTurtle (4:47:26 PM): i don't know
ZangLittleTurtle (4:47:29 PM): GET YOUR FREAK ON
babypandasean (4:47:58 PM): my freak is already got on
ZangLittleTurtle (4:48:03 PM): holla!
babypandasean (4:48:05 PM): uh
babypandasean (4:48:06 PM): uh
babypandasean (4:48:16 PM): holla back foo'
babypandasean (4:48:18 PM): yo
babypandasean (4:48:20 PM): yo
ZangLittleTurtle (4:48:22 PM): thats not part of the song
babypandasean (4:48:34 PM): wow , ebonics are wrong on so many levels
babypandasean (4:48:38 PM): mainly because
ZangLittleTurtle (4:48:42 PM): wtf
babypandasean (4:48:43 PM): i don't understand them
ZangLittleTurtle (4:48:44 PM): you're a freak
babypandasean (4:48:50 PM): eeeek
babypandasean (4:49:01 PM): (tearing up)
ZangLittleTurtle (4:49:12 PM): you should stop acting like a frickin english teacher
ZangLittleTurtle (5:01:01 PM): ohhhh your song just came on
babypandasean (5:01:09 PM): what
ZangLittleTurtle (5:01:11 PM): cher
babypandasean (5:01:16 PM): yea
babypandasean (5:01:20 PM): woohoo

waDDles XC (5:11:41 PM): it's fun to mDHANI DHANI DHANI
waDDles XC (5:11:47 PM): lol i'm watching a*teens
waDDles XC (5:12:03 PM): . . um it's fun to make fun of him behind his back . . literally
ZangLittleTurtle (5:12:14 PM): lol
ZangLittleTurtle (5:12:39 PM): huah

waDDles XC (5:18:28 PM): i'll jump him and cut him
ZangLittleTurtle (5:18:40 PM): haha
waDDles XC (5:18:55 PM): omg. . i'm learning ghetto since i've been here
ZangLittleTurtle (5:19:02 PM): you are
ZangLittleTurtle (5:19:13 PM): soon you're gonna be saying "ima bust a cap in yo ass!"
waDDles XC (5:19:17 PM): ha ha
waDDles XC (5:19:26 PM): and soon after that i will be actually doin it
ZangLittleTurtle (5:19:31 PM): yes

(hear the saddest songs)